Lists by Laura

Lists in my phone

Endless jobs at home

Always undone

When can you sit with me, Mum?

From the moment you open your eyes

Or from when the baby cries

A question intended with care

“Have you had much rest?” Lets not go there

Breakfast, washing up, careful preparations for your day

Wishing I could be one of those that are organised, come what may

At pre school they say we need you to be able to carry a tray?!

In one ear I hear little one needs feeding

Whilst in the other there is nagging for more reading

So it’s Into the carrier for Roo

One to one attention with you

Upstairs, dressed, teeth brushed but how can I persuade you to do your hair

A silly voice for the comb & each knot teased out with care

Wait, when did I last shower?

Distractions are your super power

Where are we going today for me, Mum?

The pressure to fill each day with fun

Constantly searching for the next adventure

Desperately trying to carve out a life that really feels like you are at the centre

I give each drop of energy every single day

But even that isn’t enough to keep the guilt at bay

I admit, I’m frightened that you’ll remember me as a shouty

Oh kid, I’m sorry, you really can be nouty

But is that my fault? Passed on to you from me?

Now I need to think about your tea

Three mouths to feed

Trying to care for every need

Mama do it - the one who knows how things should be

Plain pasta, grated cheese, and nuggets? Three

Plans past 5pm no longer exist

Exchanged for the tea, bath, bed routine and a good night kiss

Negotiation of how many books we will read tonight

I give in to one more, desperate to keep your love for stories alight

One lay feeding at my breast,

Convincing another that yes, he does need rest

Affirmations, you are magic, so sparkly I hope nothing will ever dull your shine

And at the end of each exhausting day, I thank the stars that you are mine.